A Short Foray into “Cougardom”

Warning: if you are my mother, father, brother, cousin, uncle, etc. – DO NOT READ. And if you do, lets not speak for a few days.

What is a Cougar according to the Urban Dictionary:

An “older,” experienced woman who happens to find herself in a sexual relationship (committed or not) with a younger man. She is not necessarily a slut, nor is she desperate. She offers sexual expertise and is open to new experiences. She simply wants to have fun. Though older, she may actually look younger than her “hook-up.” She is attractive, confident, and just wants to have fun. She will not attempt to trap her mate into marriage, children or even an exclusive relationship. She is not interested in drama or games, as that would interfere with the pleasure she enjoys.

One of the things that I learned from being on several online dating sites is that younger men covet older women.  I am not sure what the exact reason is; there might be several.  Some of the things I have been told by these younger men is that older women are more self assured, confident and all that good stuff.  That may be true since I certainly feel a lot more self assured than I was when I was younger.  I also don’t care much about what people think of me, thus am much more comfortable in my skin.  And so, even though I am far from one who could be called in good shape physically, I own my sexuality and know what I want and how I want it.

There may be other reasons that these younger guys don’t reveal like looking for sugar mamas but if that is what they are looking for from me, ha … they are in for a grand rude awakening 🙂

Before I tell you of my story of my foray into cougardom, I must share with you a line that I have used often and am so very proud of (smiles).

Several younger guys who approach me will tell me that they would love to experience an older woman.

My response: I am not a Disney ride that you are looking to experience me.

I love that line.  Don’t you?

Feel free to use it 🙂

Now for the story:

I was 45 and on vacation.  I got a message from a 23 year old.

“Really?” I responded, outraged.

“Really what,” he responded.  “I think you are a very beautiful woman.”

“I am also close to your mother’s age.”

“My mother is 56,” he replied.

“Well, I am not interested in someone who could be my son.  I wish you luck and you should not waste people’s time,” is the message I sent him and went about doing vacation things.

Later that night I received the most beautiful and articulate letter from the young one. Let’s call him Sam because that’s what his name was. Haha. I was impressed by his maturity and command of the English language which is a big deal for me. Since I was on vacation and relaxed, I thought to myself, ‘why not? Who is it going to hurt- I’ll see the boy when I get back to New York.’

I replied to him and decided to meet the following week. In between that time we texted often. The conversation was still very grown up. He showed a lot of interest in me, my likes and dislikes – a far cry from a lot of older guys I have communicated with.

The day we were to meet came. I wondered what I had gotten myself into but then again – I’m always up for an adventure. He came to pick me up at a predetermined location and when I saw a child walking towards me, I wanted to turn around and run. Lucky for him I don’t run.

He came closer and was just about my height – scrawny as all fuck.

Jesus, what was I thinking?

He smiled and told me I looked lovely.  He was self assured – something I can’t say about many a men my age.

We walked to his car and he opened the door for me.  Once inside and driving, he turned on the music and I heard Adele begin to croon through the speakers.  In our previous conversations he had asked me what music I enjoy.  I told him that I was obsessed with Adele lately.  Clearly, he had paid attention. Hmmmm maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as I thought.

Fast forward, after dinner and a couple of drinks – we get to the part you have been waiting for, I think.  Well, that’s the part I would be waiting for.

Let me just say this that if you want the gory details, which there are plenty of – you will have to buy my book – after I finish writing it of course.

In a nutshell, he was extremely eager to please if you get my drift.  I hardly have to do a thing and for quite some I did exactly that – nothing.  But since I am a trooper, I did participate and I believe made him a happy man/boy.

That was the good part – to be pleasured by a young stud who was very adept in the art of seduction.  Where it become a deal breaker (for future dates) was our conversation.  There was a lot of talk (on his part) about drunken episodes and the like; and they had all occurred yesterday or last week.  A lot of talk of college days and college buddies – all of which happened last year.  Just to put things in perspective, I was an undergraduate 25 years ago, when he wasn’t even born!!

And so that was my brief foray into Cougardom.

He calls me to this day after all these years – tells me things that I can’t say here (Read my book)!  Obviously, everything is highly flattering and along the lines of me being the sexiest woman he had ever been with.  I promise you I am not lying.

Moral of this story: Every woman should experience a younger man – it is highly flattering and gets you in touch with your younger self. If conversation is not a big deal for you, maybe you can see him often.  Unfortunately, I am most turned on by glorious and stimulating conversation.  And so I only saw Sam one more time.

Would love to hear your experiences.  Feel free to scold me if that’s what you got from this story.

Until I date again!



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