I have a confession – I have had a bad case of writer’s block and so the following post is more for me than you…
What I am about to write should not be so unusual or even worth talking about. I’ll try to make it short – but with me you never know 🙂
As most of you may know I have been dating for a long long time. Lately, most guys want to meet for a drink. A guy friend of mine told me that he doesn’t want to make the commitment of dinner.
There was this one cheap guy who accepted my offer to split the check. https://datinginnewyorkblog.wordpress.com/2017/04/17/can-you-put-down-that-phone-for-a-minute/
Call me old fashioned – but that’s not a date motherfucker!
A few weeks ago I met a gentleman, something that is rare these days. After speaking on the phone he actually asked me out for a date. He asked about my schedule and then offered up two dates that could work. He then proceeded to send me the name of the bar where we would meet and also 3 restaurants that we could go to after. He clearly had listened and done some research.
Sounds so simple – right?
Apparently not so, for many guys that I have been going out with.
I thought the effort he had put in even before we met warranted me wearing a dress – a rare sighting … to see me in a dress.
We met at the bar which was a nice lounge, not a frat boy bar. It had great cocktails and conducive to a nice conversation.
When the check came, he took it gracefully and paid without any hesitation or drama.
It was a nice night and so we decided to walk to a couple of the restaurants he had picked to decide which one we should have dinner at.
We had a great dinner, wine and marvelous conversation. While we were getting along extremely well it was evident that this was not going to be a love connection or even a lust connection. That really didn’t matter. We were two adults have a nice evening out.
Once again when the bill came, he slid it towards himself and set his credit card down.
Now if you stop reading at this point – you could be thinking, “Cheap bitch or even, ever heard of feminism, etc.”
Give me a moment. I am not a cheap bitch and yes I have heard of feminism and am a proud member of the club.
Let me explain – I have a friend who is much older than me and we were talking one day. I was telling her that I had been seeing a guy for a couple of months and he had paid for everything each time. That I was feeling guilty and had invited him for dinner and drinks for our next date.
“The man always pays,” she said without missing a beat.
She was so sure of her statement that it got me thinking, “Why not? Maybe a guy should pay for all dates and there are other ways I could reciprocate. Like cooking him dinner, buying tickets for a show, etc.”
Back to the original date I was talking about…
We ended the evening with him shaking my hand, which I never understand but okay.
I sent him a text thanking him for the lovely evening.
We spoke the next day and it was established that we were going to become friends. I proposed we call us “eating buddies,” since he loves food, as do I. And so we decided that we would meet as friends and experience different New York City restaurants and maybe even cook together some day.
Our next platonic date the following week was a movie and dinner which I paid for.
See what I am saying now?
My new rule: when it is a date, the guy pays.
When we become friends or ‘eating buddies,’ we split the check or take turns paying.
Until I date again!