Because I don’t care any more 

Me kissing yo ass goodbye 

I wrote a post about how I went on a date and came back with a best friend. He was my friend for four years. A dear dear friend. 

Well, it didn’t end well. After I wrote the piece and before I published it, I sent it to his girl friend and told her of my intent. She read it and said it was fine. There was nothing in there that she didn’t already know. I published it and my friend freaked out. 

‘It was not your story to tell,” he said. 

“Really? It happened to me and so it’s my story.”

“No. Take it off. And you showed it to my girl friend. You never think, do you?”

“Maybe sometimes I don’t think but in this case I did and so I shared it with her. If anyone should be upset in this scenario, it should be her and she wasn’t. And so…”

There was some more exchanges along this line, via text and i stopped answering. We were repeating ourselves and going in circles. I thought we shall go into our corners, cool down and things will be back to normal soon enough. 

I had no intention of removing the post but I also did not do this to get a rise out of him. This was a unique thing that had happened to me- that I would end up making such a beautiful friendship with someone on a dating site and so I wrote about it. I was always amused and thankful for the serendipity of the events that made us BFFs. 

I am often wrong. In this case I couldn’t have been more wrong. 

A couple of weeks went by with no communication from either one of us. One day I got a text from him about something random. I thought it was his way of telling me we could now move on from the incident. 

I responded in kind and told him I missed him, then asked him how he had been. 

Little did I know that I had received a mass text and didn’t hear back from him. 

A couple more weeks went by and I wrote him an email. I repeated to him that I didn’t write the post about us to get him upset. Moreover, there was nothing in there that was untrue or derogatory towards him. I also never identified him. The only people who would know it’s him already knew the story. I continued that he was very dear to me. He had been there for me and that I missed him immensely. 

Not even a second after I hit send I got a response. 

Wanna know what it was?

It took my breath away. 

It shocked me. 

It hurt me. 

I realized I was so wrong. Not about what I did but what I thought I meant to this person. 

The answer my friends, was instant, succinct and shut me up forever. 

“Fuck off,” he wrote. 

That was that. I was dumbfounded. It broke my heart. I said nothing. 

I retreated. I did exactly what he said. 

I fucked off. 

Until I date again!

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